Many of our readers here at the CLF have been privately emailing me with questions on how to debate one of those kooky alarmists who think that the Earth is going to end tomorrow because of man. Boy, those end-of-timers really get to me sometimes. So I've compiled a two-way debate between an Alarmist (A) and us smart folks the Skeptics (S) to help many of you out. You're welcome.
A = Alarmist
S = Skeptic
A - I’m starting to get concerned. Ice shelves are melting at ever increasing rates. Temperatures around the globe are going up. Carbon dioxide is at or above levels not present in recorded history. It’s become obvious that man is causing or contributing to this crisis. Virtually all of the world’s scientists agree.
S - Global warming is a hoax! It’s a communist conspiracy to destroy our economy. And you are wrong. It is not every scientist. What about Richard Lindzen?!?!
A - Well the IPCC report and peer reviewed studies....
S - Peer review?! What a crock! They are all paid off with grant money. The “real” scientists that aren’t buying the hoax are in no one’s pockets.
A - But we have reliable data that the Earth hasn't warmed this significantly for millions and millions of years and that CO2 levels have been increasing at an alarming rate just this century.
S - What was that? 65 million years ago? How’d they figure out temperatures without a thermometer, genius? Thermometers weren’t invented til 1897 and I didn’t even have to google that..knew it off the top of my head, that is how smart I am!!! What say you....
A - Well we have ice cores, tree rings, etc.....
S - Oh, like that’s real reliable (snark)
A - Well, the IPCC is in, and the US and even the Bush administration admitted, with over 90% certainty, that man is responsible for global warming and the link between CO2 and rising temperatures.
S - Ok, ok, ok.... global warming may be happening, but its not by man!! Solar activity is to blame, along with cows, dinosaur flatulence, and other stuff. All the real scientists know better. Plus, you look at the ice ring data and it shows that the global warming alarmists are wrong.
A - I thought you just said ice cores weren't reliable?
S - Nuh-uh, look at the evidence. 1934 was the warmist year ever!!!!
A - That’s for the US, not globally.
S - Well look at the first 1/4 of this year, temperatures were below average!!! And it's darn cold outside my front door in Charleston, WV. I guess it's global cooling now... hahaha!
A - That’s just for the United States...but globally, temperatures are up, especially at the poles.
S - Well you aren’t up on your science. Look, they are now saying that its all a cycle. Greenland used to be a lovely, green, hospitable island 1000 years ago. Since then it's been a frozen wasteland. Now it's going back to a better, warming place.
A - Greenland is just one small region, we can't use that to represent global change...but also, Greenland's ice cap is hundreds of thousands of years old and covers over 80% of the island. The vast majority of land not under the ice sheet is rock and permafrost in the far north. It could not have been that different just 1,000 years ago. Besides, the historical evidence showed that the Vikings lived a harsh and meager existence on that island, which disputes your claim that Greenland was lush.
S - You calling me a lush!!! I quit that stuff since I turned myself to God; who, by the way, you obviously do not believe. Man is not God, he could not have changed the climate. Besides, it was probably HAARP that did it.
A - HAARP is a US government program that sends high energy into the atmosphere that some suggest is part of the Star Wars defense system. So, you're saying that Man IS God.
S - Nuh uh, its all a hoax!!! It's all to enrich Gorey and his Ilk. It's a global conspiracy to put us all under one-world government and to ration energy sources. Case closed.
A - I'm rendered speechless at your stu...
S - Studious analysis of the facts!!!! Thank you for the compliment.
A - Actually, I was...
S - Too late, you admitted I won. You lost. Nuff said.
Showing posts with label al gorey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label al gorey. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Debate Primer - Global Warming
Hello all. I hope you have been catching up with the latest posts here at CLF. Michelle has been putting up some excellent video of some of our greatest Republican stars in their fight against the evils of the global warming alarmacists. First, there was good ole Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee letting Gorey have it with rock-solid proof that he is only pushing this cap-n-trade stuff so he can profiteer. Then there's Michelle's personal favorite, Michelle Bachmann of Minnesota, who blows the lid off the global warming crazies with some indisputable facts that CO2 occurs in nature. Its amazing how reducing an argument to the simplest points can really be effective.
Anyway, these videos display two tactics in our three pronged approach at defeating the enviro-wackos who want to destroy our economy. I truly think our economy would not be in as bad a shape as it is if it wasn't for these crazies trying to push cap-n-trade. Well, there is still Barney Frank and Chris Dodd to blame, but the psychological aspects of getting off oil is probably enough to scare Wall Street a good bit. But lets get back to the prongs...
Prong 1: Claim Earth is not warming. This is most effective when it is cold outside, like the past 2 Winters we've had in the valley. This way we can talk about how all those scientists were worried about Global Cooling, like, 2 years ago. And when its cold here, it doesn't matter if there are heat waves in the Southern Hemisphere or ice shelves dislodging from Antarctica. All politics is local.
Prong 2: Admit Earth is warming, but not because of CO2. When the Summer comes, prong #1 must be discarded as all politics remains local. However, there's a treasure trove of things to blame for any warming: solar radiation, natural cycles, methane from cows, etc. Be sure to mention that Greenland was called Greenland because it was green, which means that it was much warmer, and thus greener, when Greenland was first named Greenland. I hope you follow me, I know this can get a little hairy.
Prong 3: Take no position on whether the Earth is warming or cooling, simply deflect to a boogeyman. A good person to attack is Al Gore, or Gorey, as some real smart people call him. Gorey is always flying around in fancy jets and using lots of energy in his mansions. I also heard a story that Gorey used to kill puppies for fun and burned them in a coal-fired incinerator he had in his basement. I would like Gorey to explain to me how puppy exhaust can be good for the environment, but driving my SUV is somehow sinful. Also talk about carbon credits, or cap-n-trade, and how it is just a clever ruse for Gorey to enrich himself while the lights go out and everyone has to fell all the trees just to heat their houses due to the Global Cooling (see Prong 1).
I have summarized this debate methodology in the following graphical illustration.
Whenever one debate tactic fails or is inconvenient, simply go to another tactic, or prong. And all prongs can be supported by the totally consistent fact that dinosaur flatulence caused warming and produced CO2 levels way beyond what we see now. The dinosaurs liked it warm. But that was way back in history, like over 4000 years ago, which was near the beginning of the Earth.
Anyway, these videos display two tactics in our three pronged approach at defeating the enviro-wackos who want to destroy our economy. I truly think our economy would not be in as bad a shape as it is if it wasn't for these crazies trying to push cap-n-trade. Well, there is still Barney Frank and Chris Dodd to blame, but the psychological aspects of getting off oil is probably enough to scare Wall Street a good bit. But lets get back to the prongs...
Prong 1: Claim Earth is not warming. This is most effective when it is cold outside, like the past 2 Winters we've had in the valley. This way we can talk about how all those scientists were worried about Global Cooling, like, 2 years ago. And when its cold here, it doesn't matter if there are heat waves in the Southern Hemisphere or ice shelves dislodging from Antarctica. All politics is local.
Prong 2: Admit Earth is warming, but not because of CO2. When the Summer comes, prong #1 must be discarded as all politics remains local. However, there's a treasure trove of things to blame for any warming: solar radiation, natural cycles, methane from cows, etc. Be sure to mention that Greenland was called Greenland because it was green, which means that it was much warmer, and thus greener, when Greenland was first named Greenland. I hope you follow me, I know this can get a little hairy.
Prong 3: Take no position on whether the Earth is warming or cooling, simply deflect to a boogeyman. A good person to attack is Al Gore, or Gorey, as some real smart people call him. Gorey is always flying around in fancy jets and using lots of energy in his mansions. I also heard a story that Gorey used to kill puppies for fun and burned them in a coal-fired incinerator he had in his basement. I would like Gorey to explain to me how puppy exhaust can be good for the environment, but driving my SUV is somehow sinful. Also talk about carbon credits, or cap-n-trade, and how it is just a clever ruse for Gorey to enrich himself while the lights go out and everyone has to fell all the trees just to heat their houses due to the Global Cooling (see Prong 1).
I have summarized this debate methodology in the following graphical illustration.
Whenever one debate tactic fails or is inconvenient, simply go to another tactic, or prong. And all prongs can be supported by the totally consistent fact that dinosaur flatulence caused warming and produced CO2 levels way beyond what we see now. The dinosaurs liked it warm. But that was way back in history, like over 4000 years ago, which was near the beginning of the Earth.
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