
In light of the news of our new hero Jim Bunning, former baseball pitcher and all around swell guy, standing up to Obama's economy of reckless spending, I would like to lead into a discourse about the perfect philosophy for everything that is "Libertarianism."
Dr. Rand Paul, son of the very independent and so NOT Republican Dr. Ron Paul, has come out to support Bunning in his efforts to stop unemployment benefits. Unemployment benefits are a form of government activism that entails too much of my tax dollars and desires to keep people unemployed indefinitely. End of story.
Dr. Rand Paul, as you know, is named after novelist Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand wrote fictitious stories about the plights of those who sought moral objectivism for the world around them. Her fiction ultimately created a real life philosophical following. A philosophy that insists that a man's happiness and free markets solve every single problem, which the Paul's have been strong proponents of. It's like taking Stephen King's novel "Carrie" and creating a philosophy to live by after high school bullies poured pig blood all over you. Sometimes it just takes the imagination of a writer to show you what is right and wrong.Libertarians live by five basic tenants that can never be disputed. First, property is sacred. Above all, a man's home and land are his and his alone. He can do what he wants with them. He can start fires on his lawn if he so chooses or decide to have an elephant as a pet. To deny a man his happiness of fire and large animals is to deny his very being.
Second, any and all government is bad - except cops, the military, and judges. They will solve any dispute anyone has, such as when the man's lawn fire creeps over into his neighbors yard. All the neighbor has to do is go to court and hope the man doesn't have a ton of money for defense lawyers. Usually that is not the case, so problem solved.
Third, capitalism and capitalist are noble heroes. The system of capitalism and those who engage in it create an efficient and fool proof system of economics. When prices on any given product get too high, anyone can simply enter the market, create competition, and voila! prices go down. I mean, it's just that simple. It's only when government sticks their noses in that creates monopolies.
Fourth, worker activism is totally evil. The Corporation creates jobs for people. People should be thankful someone started up a company and gave them a job. End of story.
That brings us to our fifth and final tenant, that the poor are good-for-nothing wastes on society. This is exactly what Bunning and the Paul's are trying to say when they are denying unemployment benefits. Those people are unemployed because they want to be and because they'd rather sit on their fat asses and watch Maury Povich on their big screen TV's all day. This business about unemployment being high right now is just because the Obama Government includes all those people who are no longer looking for work - you know, those who'd rather be lazy! The Bush Administration never included those people in their unemployment numbers because they don't count. That's why unemployment was really low back then.
Whenever someone tries to dispute these five basic tenants of Libertarianism by giving examples of its lack of real world success - like for instance Pinochet's Chile, or deregulation of the financial industry - you must insist that those economies were not free enough. You must inform them that had Chris Dodd and Barney Frank not install Frannie and Freddie, none of the financial collapse would have happened. It was *because* of government interference, that actually caused the collapse. You must insist that because Pinochet was a dictator that he alone caused Chile's huge wealth disparity and annihilation of their middle class. It will only be until there is a completely free market, with absolutely no government interference, that true Libertopia can prosper. This absolutely free and untested economic system has great rhetorical appeal, and will surely win arguments.
So you see why we support Jim Bunning and the Paul's. It's great to have truly independent thinkers like them to change our totally socialist economy.