Sunday, March 29, 2009

Middle School in Liberal State Bans Touching

Let's get started with some actual newsworthy happenings across our great nation. A Connecticut Middle School has declared that physical touching - such as high fives and hugging - is now banned.

Principal Catherine Williams sent out a letter earlier in the week telling parents recent behavior has seriously impacted the safety and learning at the school.

"Observed behaviors of concern recently exhibited include kicking others in the groin area, grabbing and touching of others in personal areas, hugging and horseplay. Physical contact is prohibited to keep all students safe in the learning environment," Williams wrote.

Conservatives Loving Freedom (CLF) believes this a step in the right direction for our conservative youth. Not only does the ban prevent unnecessary outbreaks of gang-style fighting that blacks have brought to our public school systems, but it falls directly in line with abstinence-only teaching. It teaches our young how to begin and end their school day understanding that physical contact of any kind is also unnecessary unless for creating purposes.

East Shore Middle School parents said the change came after a student was sent to the hospital after being struck in the groin.

This sort of groping behavior is now the norm in public schools. Where teenagers of generations past were concerned with holding hands and drive-in movies, kids now are starting much younger and engaging in much more sinful behaviors. CLF believes that the primary factor promoting such behavior comes with advent of new technologies such as computers, the internet, phones, and text messaging that have all driven our youth into the drudges of sexual hell. Praise East Shore Middle School and God Bless Principal Catherine Williams for having the fortitude and puritan jurisprudence to stop this ungodly behavior. It will be stopped just as abstinence-only education has stopped millions of teenagers from engaging in premarital sex.

Quote of the Day:
High fives can lead to gang fights, while hugging almost always leads to teenage sex.


Reggie N. said...

Wow Bachmann2012, that was an awesome post. Although I am not sure I agree with the principal since this policy started in a liberal state like Connecticut. That state is, after all, the state that gave us Chris Dodd, and he is like 1/2 responsible for the economic downturn. The other 1/2 would be Barney Frank, at least that is what I have been told.

But again, great post. I can already tell I was right to ask you to blog with me. You are smart, I can tell.

Fuido Pandudi said...

Again what is this infatuation with Frank, Barney Frank, Al Franken. Is it a communist plot like Frank Suleski said about Salad Bars


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