As much as I have been enjoying the company of fellow exceptionally well-endowed and muscular conservative men during our two week annual domestic terrorism training... uh, I mean good-natured target shooting and camping retreat, I felt the need to post about the dangers of a nuclearly armed Iran and their threat to our way of life. While I don't like taking time away from my explosives... (COUGH!) I mean creative firestarting seminar and snuggling in the tent, err, I mean the exchange of completely heterosexual nude male bonding reverse hugs and spooning with my tent mate Buck, the threat posed by the evil Islamic Republic of Iran is important enough to make an exception.
Many international observers were badmouthing Israel for their recent blockade of "humanitarian" aid (all astute observers of the Bush years can tell you that food is most CERTAINLY a weapon, especially when it is denied to the starving enemy! Take that, North Korea!) to the evil residents of the terrorist controlled Gaza Strip. Despite the claims that no weapons were on board by the slanted, America hating Reporters Without Borders, every biscuit and vitamin pill can certainly be called a weapon of mass destruction. On top of that, the weapons left behind by illegally assaulted Israeli commandoes were still on board! REAL GUNS! We all know that no Muslim ANYWHERE, even those here in the U.S., shouldn't be allowed to own guns, because when people who aren't white and Christian own guns they are weapons of mass destruction.
The evil Islamic Republic of Iran threatened to break the blockade and allow all of that dangerous oatmeal gruel to enter Gaza and stop the planned starvation of the Palestinians by the Israelis that IN NO WAY RESEMBLES the treatment of the Jews in concentration camps by Nazi Germany. In order to keep the peace, Israel decided to let the undeserved nourishment in.
Why did the Israelis back down? Their plan of starvation for Palestine would have finally brought peace to the Middle East! If all the Palestinians were dead, no one would be complaining about Palestine anymore! Iran's destabilizing threat should be met with ABSOLUTE FORCE. BOTH soldiers who aren't currently serving in Afghanistan, Iraq, South Korea, and the Gulf of Mexico should be immediately deployed to Iran with the rubber raft and slingshot we as a country can afford to drop pellet bombs on the Iranian capital!