Wednesday, December 30, 2009

How To Argue With A Global Warming Alarmist

Many of our readers here at the CLF have been privately emailing me with questions on how to debate one of those kooky alarmists who think that the Earth is going to end tomorrow because of man. Boy, those end-of-timers really get to me sometimes. So I've compiled a two-way debate between an Alarmist (A) and us smart folks the Skeptics (S) to help many of you out. You're welcome.

A = Alarmist
S = Skeptic

A - I’m starting to get concerned. Ice shelves are melting at ever increasing rates. Temperatures around the globe are going up. Carbon dioxide is at or above levels not present in recorded history. It’s become obvious that man is causing or contributing to this crisis. Virtually all of the world’s scientists agree.

S - Global warming is a hoax! It’s a communist conspiracy to destroy our economy. And you are wrong. It is not every scientist. What about Richard Lindzen?!?!

A - Well the IPCC report and peer reviewed studies....

S - Peer review?! What a crock! They are all paid off with grant money. The “real” scientists that aren’t buying the hoax are in no one’s pockets.

A - But we have reliable data that the Earth hasn't warmed this significantly for millions and millions of years and that CO2 levels have been increasing at an alarming rate just this century.

S - What was that? 65 million years ago? How’d they figure out temperatures without a thermometer, genius? Thermometers weren’t invented til 1897 and I didn’t even have to google that..knew it off the top of my head, that is how smart I am!!! What say you....

A - Well we have ice cores, tree rings, etc.....

S - Oh, like that’s real reliable (snark)

A - Well, the IPCC is in, and the US and even the Bush administration admitted, with over 90% certainty, that man is responsible for global warming and the link between CO2 and rising temperatures.

S - Ok, ok, ok.... global warming may be happening, but its not by man!! Solar activity is to blame, along with cows, dinosaur flatulence, and other stuff. All the real scientists know better. Plus, you look at the ice ring data and it shows that the global warming alarmists are wrong.

A - I thought you just said ice cores weren't reliable?

S - Nuh-uh, look at the evidence. 1934 was the warmist year ever!!!!

A - That’s for the US, not globally.

S - Well look at the first 1/4 of this year, temperatures were below average!!! And it's darn cold outside my front door in Charleston, WV. I guess it's global cooling now... hahaha!

A - That’s just for the United States...but globally, temperatures are up, especially at the poles.

S - Well you aren’t up on your science. Look, they are now saying that its all a cycle. Greenland used to be a lovely, green, hospitable island 1000 years ago. Since then it's been a frozen wasteland. Now it's going back to a better, warming place.

A - Greenland is just one small region, we can't use that to represent global change...but also, Greenland's ice cap is hundreds of thousands of years old and covers over 80% of the island. The vast majority of land not under the ice sheet is rock and permafrost in the far north. It could not have been that different just 1,000 years ago. Besides, the historical evidence showed that the Vikings lived a harsh and meager existence on that island, which disputes your claim that Greenland was lush.

S - You calling me a lush!!! I quit that stuff since I turned myself to God; who, by the way, you obviously do not believe. Man is not God, he could not have changed the climate. Besides, it was probably HAARP that did it.

A - HAARP is a US government program that sends high energy into the atmosphere that some suggest is part of the Star Wars defense system. So, you're saying that Man IS God.

S - Nuh uh, its all a hoax!!! It's all to enrich Gorey and his Ilk. It's a global conspiracy to put us all under one-world government and to ration energy sources. Case closed.

A - I'm rendered speechless at your stu...

S - Studious analysis of the facts!!!! Thank you for the compliment.

A - Actually, I was...

S - Too late, you admitted I won. You lost. Nuff said.


wfp in W-by-GOD-V! said...

Ok now...back up just a ding dang second. I have a beef with one of your statements...
"hasn't warmed this significantly for millions and millions of years" and the response "...65 million years..."

Friend, we all know that the Earth is only 6000 years old. Jesus walked here 2000 years ago and Adam and Eve 4000 years prior to that. From that fact alone, we know that this nonsense about temperatures "millions of years ago" can't possibly be true. I suggest you break out your King James again and check on that fact...

Bachmann2012 said...

You are absolutely correct wfp! My point was simply that *if* the earth was millions of years old, there still wouldn't be any thermometers. hehe! The earth is in fact 6000 years old and any tree ring or fossil that carbon dates older than 6000 years old is placed here by God and simply a test of our belief in Him. That really stumps the Alarmists!

Anonymous said...

So happy to see you've finally taken down the photo of Jesus pissing into the clouds. It was really offensive. Glad to see you can admit you're wrong once in a while...

Reggie N. said...

wfp, good point. I'm going to have to use that one next time I have a debate with a global warming alarmacist. That would be a good addition to a chain email I'm working on. :)

Anonymous, whatever. You see what you want to see. Another example of projection.

wfp in W-by-GOD-V! said...

Hey, it's a new year closer to the Rapture (maybe this is our year?). Anyhow, how about your thoughts on what this year holds for the devout conservatives among us?

BTW (like how I use that lingo the kids are using these days?), I have made a New Year's Resolution that I hope you will keep. I resolved that you folks will keep us (well, anonymous and me anyhow) updated on the state of the demise of American values a little more often.

Bachmann2012 said...

You got it wfp! We have been meaning to update you fine folks a bit more concerning the affairs of a fascist government, among other things. In my case, I have a wicked boss who monitors my internets constantly and finds volumes and volumes of text for me to copy on the copy machine. I went through two toner cartridges last week!

Anonymous said...

What were the results of your show trial? It's January 12th and Hawaii-born President Obama is still in office. I didn't see any news coverage of your "trial". Was it held on Sunday 01/10/10 as you claimed? Please provide a link to the coverage.


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